How Language Affects Your Performance

Posted on by Scott

people-1099804_640“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” No doubt, you heard this phrase from your parents growing up. You may even have shared it with your own children in an attempt to sooth the pain caused by hurtful comments. It’s meant as a declaration of mental strength, a statement of an individual’s ability to rise above insult, and a belief that words hold no power.

What a load of crap.

The truth is, words do have power. The right ones, spoken by the right person, can hurt even worse than an actual physical assault. Of course, words can also heal; they can strengthen and encourage. It all depends on how they are used.

Like our posture and the way we dress, the way we use language helps other people determine our capability in serving them. Our speech patterns – the combination of words we select and the way we utter them – communicate a great deal about our belief system and the way we approach our work. Language is an incredibly important part of what makes us human, yet we pay so little attention to using it properly.

Dr. Sophie Scott is a “speech neurobiologist” with University College in London. Using a technique called functional magnetic resonance imaging, or fMRI, Dr. Scott has actually mapped the way our brains interpret language. When someone speaks, two different parts of the brain go to work. The left temporal lobe begins interpreting the actual words that are spoken. It takes sound and converts it into concepts and images that help understand the content being shared.

But the sound of our voice, what Dr. Scott calls the “melody,” is processed by the right side of the brain. This is where we interpret music, and it helps us determine the mood and intent of the speaker. This part of the brain functions to ascertain someone’s actual feelings – regardless of the words they use. It’s this dual processing power that allows us understand how we should respond when someone says “It’s nice to meet you,” while also realizing whether or not they actually mean it.

Think about how you greet someone. Does your voice carry the same inflection and energy when meeting a customer as they do when meeting a friend? The words might be the same, but the meaning is often completely different. If your pitch drops and the speech is monotone or rushed, that customer greeting probably comes off as insincere and obligatory. Your greeting could cause a customer to feel like an unwelcomed intrusion – the exact opposite of the intended effect.

Do you speak in full sentences, or in short, clipped fragments? For instance, do you say “I can help you,” or do you just announce “Next?” Do you ask “What name would you like on the account?” or do you spit out “Name?” Try saying those phrases out loud. I bet the tone of your voice changes as you shifted from full sentences to fragments. That’s because our choice of words has an impact on the way we say them. And the way we speak impacts the way customers feel.

A sincere, meaningful greeting helps put the customer in a cooperative state of mind. Continuing the interaction with engaging language ensures they maintain a positive impression of the encounter. You’re already talking to them; why not make the most of it by using language that enhances the experience as much as possible?

Here’s another reason to be more careful with your word choice. The words you use not only affect the mood of your customer; they affect your own mood as well. Remember, even as we speak, our ears are pick up those sounds. Our brains are interpreting the very words we say to process both the meaning and emotion behind them. When we say words like “No,” an fMRI scan shows a release of stress-related hormones. We become more anxious and irritable after hearing our own negativity. Long term exposure to the word “No,” even though we are the one saying it, can impact our appetite, sleep, and memory.

In fact, any kind of negative language has detrimental effects on our health. And the longer it goes on, the harder it is to stop. We find what we go looking for. Pessimists see everything as a problem. Optimists somehow seem to find more opportunities. It makes sense then, to consciously use positive language whenever possible.

But that’s not enough. It’s not enough to choose positive words over negative ones. We have to use positive language with much higher frequency to overcome the damage negativity causes. Our brains are geared to respond more strongly to negative inputs. Negative language triggers the primal fight-or-flight response, so we pay attention to it. Positive language doesn’t pose a threat, so it barely registers.

We have to change our tone, for our individual and collective good.

Let’s start today. Let’s declare a cultural revolution within the organization and commit to changing the way we speak to each other, our customers, and ourselves. Let’s commit to saying “Yes” instead of “No.” Let’s turn our language into a powerful force for good. What do you say?

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Change the Way You Talk

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listen-1702648_640Each year, I identify a handful of personal challenges. This is different form setting resolutions – something that millions of people do as part of their New Year’s celebration. I used to set resolutions as well, but switched to challenges for a couple of reasons.

First of all, resolutions are often too vague. The most popular seem to be things like “get in shape” or “get organized.” While those are admirable goals to shoot for, they are simply too innocuous to mean anything. There aren’t any measurable steps spelled out which means people rarely start them or have a means to track their progress, a key part of self-motivation.

Secondly, resolutions that are specific tend to create pass/fail scenarios. People who resolve to start working out twice a week will often go through the process of joining a gym. Then they hit the weights for a week or so, only to suddenly miss a week due to work travel or conflicting commitments. Once the streak is broken, they fall back into bad habits and abandon the resolution because they missed the mark of perfection.

The whole point of year-end reflection and goal-setting isn’t perfection, though, it’s improvement. That’s why I like the idea of challenges vs. resolutions. Stating my goal as a challenge affirms, from the beginning, that this isn’t going to be easy. I’m going to have to work at it. I expect to stumble. So when I fall short, it’s ok to get up and try again. The game isn’t over just because I haven’t succeeded out of the gate.

Last week, I shared my first challenge for 2017: to change how I think. The second of my three challenges (my mind tends to work in threes) is to change the way I talk. Now there are those who say we should all just work on talking less. In fact, a friend at church one said “I never miss an opportunity to keep my mouth shut.” That’s sound advice, but given the chance to speak, what kind of words ought to come out? Here’s what I plan to focus on…

I’m going to try to speak in ways that encourage people. If there’s anything that this year’s election cycle proves, it’s that hateful language hasn’t gone anywhere. I find it incredible that so many people find it so easy to voice derogatory and hurtful things about someone else – typically someone they don’t even know. As I write this, I’m thinking about an interaction I witnessed Saturday night.

My wife and I were on the way to a Christmas party and stopped at the store to pick up something we’d forgotten as part of our gift package. As we checked out, two ladies entered. Something had apparently happened in the parking lot as they were glaring at each other. Suddenly they both began shouting. Profanity, insults, and threats were all there on display for the rest of us – including the young daughter of the vilest participant.

Though I haven’t been part of a spectacle like this, I’m not always very encouraging either. I need to stop participating in gossip. I need to stop shooting down ideas I don’t agree with. I can work harder to recognize people for the positive qualities they bring to the table and be a better cheerleader for their efforts.

I’m going to try and speak in ways that add value to outcomes. As I mentioned, I’m not always supportive of ideas that I don’t agree with. However, just because they aren’t my ideas, doesn’t mean they are bad ones. I’m challenging myself to either voice my support in a way that adds value or take my friend’s advice and keep my mouth shut.

The world of improv comedy has a number of valuable lessons for leaders. One of these is to replace “no, but” with “yes, and.” This means that instead of immediately identifying ways something won’t work, we look for ways to add value and assist in making the effort a success. It’s a subtle shift of two words, but a giant shift in attitude.

I’m going to try and speak in ways that invite participation. Sometimes I have a tendency to keep really great ideas to myself. I do the same thing with difficult projects I’m working on. I guess I’m either embarrassed to ask for help, or want to present a perfect solution. Neither is a healthy reason for keeping others out.

The third part of changing the way I talk is to invite more people to work with me on things. Instead of holding all the cards until I (hopefully) have things figured out, I’m going to try including others who might be able to help me be more successful. It’s more fun to work with others anyway, and burdens are lighter when shared with a friend. Plus, victory is that much sweeter when you have someone to share it with.

There are just a few days left in 2016. Are you thinking about what you’ll do differently in 2017? How does the language you use play into those plans? I’ll share my third personal challenge for 2017 in my last article of the year next Monday.

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How to Keep Your Meetings (And Your Team) Moving Forward

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rails-253134_640Over the past few weeks, I’ve been writing on the topic of team meetings. This series of articles started with a review of 3 meetings you should stop having. That was followed by 4 meeting types that you should be having. I touched on 3 elements that make for a productive meeting, and then last week the focus was on using questions to prepare for a meeting – regardless of whether you are the meeting’s organizer or a participant.

Today, I’m wrapping up the series with a look at meeting effectiveness. How can you be sure your meeting actually helps move the team forward? That’s really the reason why we have meetings in the first place, isn’t it … to help move things along? If people are spending their time in a meeting rather than engaged in performing the actual job tasks they were hired to do, then the meeting ought to help improve the way they perform those tasks. For example, if my job is selling widgets, any time spent away from that specific task (like attending a meeting) should serve to make me a better widget sales person.

It’s critical that we start here. You have to understand that meetings are a disruption. They keep people from completing their core job responsibilities. I’m not saying meetings aren’t important; they absolutely are. But too many managers put more planning and energy into a meeting than they do the work our meetings are intended to support. We have to keep meetings in their proper place. The first and most critical step to better meetings is to view them as a vehicle that enables people to do their best work. When you start looking at meetings through this lens, the rest of your meeting-related decisions become much easier.

Starting with the belief that a meeting’s purpose is to improve the ability of people to perform, here are three ways to ensure the right things happen once the meeting is adjourned.

Expect active participation from everyone. Effective meetings do not have attendees, they have participants. If your meeting is considered a spectator sport, it’s time to clarify expectations. Active participation includes asking questions, taking notes, and sharing personal insights to improve everyone’s understanding of whatever topic is on the table. Active participation requires preparation, such as reviewing related material or completing pre-meeting assignments.

Active participation does not include looking at your phone, holding side conversations, or multi-tasking. These are signs that people are bored, uninterested, or simply disrespectful. If the meeting organizer has done their part to prepare an engaging agenda, then the rest of the team should honor that commitment by participating.

Focus on what’s important. Effective meetings stay focused. Inevitably, participants will bring up tangential topics. It’s like browsing the internet – you start off searching for something very specific, but get distracted by links to other topics that are somewhat related. Before you know it, your search for a good apple pie recipe has morphed into an hour-long review of bad plastic surgery pics. To keep your meeting on track, you have to recognize when things are getting off topic and step in before it goes too far.

Keep a running list of “parking lot” items; topics that come up, but aren’t germane to the core discussion. These can be tackled offline, or added to the next meeting’s agenda. I once worked with an organization that kept a small bell in the middle of the conference room table. Each participant in a meeting had permission to ring the bell when they felt a discussion was drifting too far off-topic. They then made a note on a white board so the related-but-separate concept wasn’t lost and pulled the team back on track.

Hold people accountable. Discussion of each agenda item should conclude with the assignment of next steps. If a topic doesn’t inherently require one or more specific actions, then it shouldn’t be on the agenda. Simply sharing general information shouldn’t be the focus of a meeting discussion – it should be an email. Remember, the purpose of a meeting is to enable participants to better perform their core job tasks.

If a topic is on your team’s meeting agenda, meaning it’s taking people away from their job, it’s because people need to start (or stop) doing something related to that job. End each meeting with a review of action items. Use this format to keep assignments clear: [Who] will [do what] by [when]. Start each subsequent meeting with a review of the action items from the prior one. Do this consistently, and hold people accountable for fulfilling their commitments.

Workplace meetings aren’t going away anytime soon. Most people consider them a necessary evil. Top teams see them as a critical way to stay focused, united, and moving in the right direction. How your meetings are perceived, and how productive they are, is up to you.

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To Prepare for Your Next Meeting, Just Ask Questions

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questions-2110967_640I’m constantly amazed at how ill-prepared people are for meetings. It doesn’t matter what the meeting is about, who’s in attendance, or what their particular role is – someone always shows up having not done their homework. In my opinion, a lack of preparation indicates a level of disrespect for the organization, the task at hand, and other peoples’ time. It also makes you look foolish.

There may indeed be instances when preparation is difficult. Last minute additions to the agenda, for instance, can put you at a disadvantage. Unclear expectations can lead you to focus on the wrong kind of preparation. Sometimes, you just have a hard time getting your hands on the necessary information. But, far too often, a lack of preparation isn’t due to any of these; it’s simply something people neglect to do. We assume we can walk into a meeting and wing it. Sometimes it works out. Many times, it doesn’t.

To avoid the issues of embarrassment, wasted time, and meaningless discussions, meeting organizers would do well to structure their gatherings appropriately. This includes having the right kind of meeting, as well as incorporating the right elements throughout. But to foster effective communication, everyone should engage in at least a modest level of preparation for each meeting topic. All you have to do is focus on the basics. Just ask, and answer, a series of questions.

Questions are the primary tool of an effective leader. By simply asking questions, we open up discussion, inspire new ways of thinking, and invite change. It’s not those who provide answers who create engagement, but those who ask questions. And there’s no better place to ask questions than during your team meetings. Here are a few you might consider.

WHO: Who are the key players in this task or project? Who are influencers? Who are detractors? Who has a particular role to play or information to provide?

WHAT: What is going on? What are the significant events that brought us to this discussion? What needs to change? What steps need to be taken going forward?

WHEN: When did significant events take place? When do we have to make a decision? When can we expect members to complete their assigned tasks?

WHERE: Where can information be found? Where should our focus be? Where do our significant opportunities and challenges lie?

WHY: Why is this topic important? Why is action warranted? Why should we care? Why is the right person to handle it?

HOW: How should we approach this? How can we make this continues or ceases to take place? How can we ensure compliance or action? How can we take advantage of the situation we’re in?

The next time you facilitate a meeting, try asking more than you tell. Before you attend your next meeting as a participant, prepare by reviewing the available materials and asking some questions. Jot them down…and ask them.

How well is questioning used in your team meetings? Do you have some go-to questions that help stimulate discussion and discovery? How else do you prepare for an effective meeting? I invite you to share your experience.

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Do Your Meetings Disappoint? Try Adding These 3 Elements

Posted on by Scott

king-penguin-384252_640I don’t know about you, but I’m sick of bad meetings. I’m tired of listening to a talking head drone on about topics I already know about, have no interest in, or have no influence over. I’m tired of being bored, uninspired, and generally less informed than when the meeting started. In short, I’m tired of wasting my time in unproductive meetings.

And I’m talking about my meetings.

That’s right, the meetings I’ve presided over lately have been some of the worst. My team counts on me for direction, information, and motivation. As their leader, it’s my job to ensure that our interactions provide them with what they need to enthusiastically conquer the world, or at least their weekly objectives. And to this point, I’ve generally failed them. I’ve allowed our weekly meetings to devolve into something we all tolerate rather than something we look forward to.

That’s unfortunate, because team members should look forward to the opportunity to gather together. Team meetings should be sacred – events cherished for their ability to unite the team, recharge the batteries, and refine the mission. They should be something people enjoy, not something they endure. That’s my charge as the leader. I’m the one who has to make sure that happens.

In particular, there are three elements that have been missing from most of my team meetings. These elements are concepts that I preach about on a regular basis, but have failed to consistently incorporate into my team’s meetings. Shame on me.

  1. Focus: If there’s any one thing that defines leadership, it’s providing focus. Most people spend their day in one of two ways. They either rush from task to task, desperately trying to put out fires; or they wander from task to task, aimlessly wiling away the hours until it’s time to head home. Without focus, people are left to figure out on their own what’s most important at any given time. It’s the job of the leader to provide that focus. Team meetings are a key vehicle to accomplish that. Meetings present an opportunity to align the efforts of the team, to get the group’s collective effort channeled in the right direction. It’s a chance for everyone to hear, right from the horse’s mouth, what their priorities should be right now. Focus clears away the clutter and confusion that accompanies competing agendas. Meetings should always clarify focus.
  2. Interaction: A team cannot succeed together unless they work together. Working together requires communication. Whether your team’s focus is the accomplishment of sales goals, completing a project, or solving a particular problem; interaction is critical. Team members who don’t regularly interact with each other miss out on the whole purpose of having a team. Team members are meant to work with each other. Not just in close proximity to each other or just on related projects, but with each other. That requires interaction, and team meetings are a great way to facilitate that. Meetings should be a time when people come together to learn from each other and collaborate. Nothing solidifies the bonds of a team more than working together to solve the same problem or achieve the same goal. Meetings should always foster interaction.
  3. Accountability: Another core aspect of leadership is the application of accountability. Without it, commitments are often forgotten, ignored, or minimized. Top performers love to win. They love moving forward and achieving the goal. For that reason, they relish accountability. Want to see your best employees scale back their efforts? Drop the ball when it comes to accountability. Letting things slide is a surefire way to lose the commitment of your top performers. Why should they continue working so hard when others are regularly let off the hook? Team meetings are a great way to establish a culture of accountability. Make sure to clarify expectations before the meeting is adjourned. Follow up as necessary and be prepared to conduct an accountability check as part of the next one. When everyone is held accountable, everyone will be. Meetings should always provide accountability.

I’ve never claimed to be a great leader, but I’m working on it. I’m going to give more attention to the way I conduct my team meetings going forward. I know that by using them as a vehicle to clarify the team’s focus, foster interaction between the fantastic individuals that make up the staff, and providing an appropriate level of accountability; I can help move the whole group forward. That’s what leadership is all about.

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Four Meetings You Should Be Having Now

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workplace-1245776_640Just as there are plenty of meetings that don’t need to take place, there are times when it’s vitally important to bring the team together. Certain things need to be handled in a group setting, not via email or a series of one-on-one conversations. For these, you need to hold a meeting.

You may need to hold an information-sharing meeting. In this case, you have something that needs to be communicated in a way that ensures everyone gets the same message. Emails can be interpreted in a variety of ways. There’s no way to gauge the intensity of emotion while merely reading an email. Individual conversations can easily veer off into the weeds. Discussion of unrelated topics could alter or cloud the information being discussed.

By disseminating information during a meeting, you can ensure everyone hears the same message. You only need one conversation and can easily check for understanding by asking questions as well as gauging body language and facial expressions. Attendees have the opportunity to ask clarifying questions and the entire group benefits from hearing the answers.

You may need to hold a decision-making meeting. Here, there’s a problem to solve and you are looking to gather input. Those in attendance have a stake in the outcome of this decision and should therefore be willing to help make sure all necessary information is provided so that the best possible move can be settled on. The interaction of the group is important. Stakeholders will have differing opinions and the interplay of various viewpoints allows everyone to understand the bigger picture.

Decisions could be made by the group, via a vote or compromise, or by the leader after considering all potential inputs. Attendees should understand the role they are to play and the timeline of the decision being made so that critical information is not withheld or delayed. By including everyone in the meeting, no feels left out and all should agree to support the decision once made.

You may need to hold a brainstorming meeting. These meetings are designed to generate ideas and bring out the creativity in people. A meeting such as this could be held as a precursor to making a decision or to help specify details related to decisions already made. Allowing people to innovate in a group setting helps solidify team bonds, boost engagement, and ramp up energy levels.

Brainstorming can be difficult to facilitate, especially if participants have no foreknowledge of the task. Be sure to prepare people ahead of time by providing as much information as possible and allowing time for individuals to research and develop ideas on their own. Once the group is together, this will provide a head start to idea generation and fertile ground for group interaction.

You may need to hold a skill-development meeting. Team meetings are a great opportunity for coaching. Participants can improve their skill set either by taking an active role in skill practice or by observing and providing feedback. Learning from the example of peers is a great way to speed up skill development, especially when the trial-and-error aspect of practice is shared.

Facilitating skill-development meetings can be tricky and requires adequate preparation on the part of the meeting facilitator. Make sure to plan enough time for everyone to participate. Ensure any job aids or necessary materials are on hand. And be ready to demonstrate the skill yourself in order to provide attendees with an example to work from.

There are definitely times when a meeting is not the right solution; but there are plenty of times when a meeting is just what the team needs. Use meetings effectively so that your team responds enthusiastically, contributing more than just their presence. Do you have regularly-scheduled team meetings? What aspects could be improved?

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Three Meetings You Should Stop Having Now

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conference-room-768441_640It’s an event everyone, including the organizer, approaches with apprehension, dread; perhaps even a touch of fear. It’s the regularly scheduled work meeting. Historically dry and boring, yet generally regarded as a necessary evil, meetings have become something we suffer through rather than look forward to. “Death by meeting” has even entered the professional vocabulary as a way to describe the disappointment felt by those forced to endure a regular diet of face-to-face or teleconference snooze fests.

But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Meetings can, and should, be one of the most engaging and productive activities your team partakes in. Planned and conducted appropriately, meetings can serve to educate, inspire, and even motivate the team. As a result, they can perform more efficiently collaborate more readily, and produce more quickly. But to be successful, meetings with the team must receive the same care and attention as a meeting with a highly prized client or prospect.

Over the next couple of weeks, I’m going to explore some of the elements that make up good meetings. Today, let’s start by cutting away the fat. Here are three kinds of meetings you shouldn’t even be having in the first place.

  • The meeting held for the sake of having a meeting. I once worked with an executive who insisted on having quarterly management meetings. Every couple of months he would gather up his core team to decide on a date, time-frame, and venue. He would send out an email announcing the meeting to the organization’s management structure to ensure it was on everyone’s calendar. Then, after everything else was set, he would frantically solicit ideas for filling the agenda.

Regularly scheduled meetings aren’t necessarily a bad thing. One function of a well-designed meeting is to provide an opportunity for people to bond, network, and further the relationships that smooth the way for work to happen. But simply having a meeting because “we haven’t had one in a while” is never a good idea. It speaks to a lack of organization and focus. When a meeting begins as a blank slate of time that has to be filled, you wind up latching onto anything that will get the job done. If attendees are regularly subjected to ill-prepared speakers who have little or nothing to offer because they were dragged in to fill a 15 minute slot, then you’ve missed the mark.

Meetings should be created as a result of something meaningful that needs to be accomplished. There has to be a purpose behind gathering people together and pulling them away from their regular jobs. In other words, have a reason to meet before you call a meeting. If one doesn’t exist, don’t schedule it.

  • The meeting held without an agenda. Why do managers insist on scheduling a meeting without an agenda? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been summoned to a meeting without the vaguest notion of what’s going to be discussed. Without any expectation, people are left to fill in the blanks and can assume any number of things will take place. Most of them turn out to be wrong.

Having an agenda helps people prepare. It allows the organizer to construct a meaningful flow of discussion from one topic to the next. It helps attendees prepare, if only mentally, for what they’re about to experience. It helps structure the meeting so that discussions are less likely to veer off-topic and keep people focused on the same objective. If you’ve decided that a meeting is necessary, then an agenda should be a given. Line out the topics and expected outcomes before sending the meeting invitation. Then be prepared to follow the agenda that you’ve prepared.

  • The meeting that should have been an email. I recently had to stay after work for an all-employee meeting. No one knew what it was about, so everyone made wild guesses while grumbling about having to work late. It turns out that the purpose of the meeting was to announce a new program that was so simple an email would have sufficed. The team was gathered for only 15 minutes while the manager read from a piece of paper that could and should have been distributed to the staff instead.

Meetings should be reserved for advancing the team’s understanding in a way that only group interaction can accomplish. If the topic you plan to cover at your meeting is so simple that an email could convey the information, then just go that route. If there’s additional work to be done – work or discussion that can’t best be handled via email – then structure your meeting to accomplish that. Send the email in advance, but refrain from going over the same information again.

Time is a limited resource. We have to use it wisely. Make a point to avoid wasting time – yours and the team’s – by eliminating some unnecessary meetings from the calendar. Use the time and energy saved to make the occasions when you do come together that much more meaningful and effective.

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Four Conversations You Should Have With Your Boss

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yada-yada-1430679_640It goes without saying that regular communication between you and your manager is one sign of a healthy relationship. Ongoing, meaningful conversations are necessary to maintain your connection and ability to “read” each other. When you and your boss are in sync, work is smoother, more efficient, and more productive.

If contact is infrequent or impersonal, it can signify a lack of trust or a lack of engagement. Either is a sign of a degrading relationship and should ring alarm bell sin your head. A lack of regular communication is a symptom of larger issues that need to be addressed before things go too far. Should you find yourself wondering if you need to communicate more, you probably do.

But what kind of conversations should you and your manager be having? Beyond an exchange of pleasantries or questions about weekend plans, what kind of topics ought to be at the center of your dialogue? Here are four types of conversations you and your boss should be having:

The “What’s going on?” conversation: You and your manager should make an effort to keep each other in the loop regarding the current state of the business.

  • Discuss your numbers – What’s driving them? Is that spike or dip an anomaly or something we should have expected? How are the activities the team engages in day-to-day affecting performance?
  • Discuss your customers – What are they saying? What hits and misses have impacted your ability to serve lately? What are they getting somewhere else that you aren’t providing?
  • Discuss your team – Are people happy and engaged? If so, why> If not, why not? What seems to be working or not working as a team?

The “What’s coming up?” conversation: You and your manager should make an effort to look ahead in order to anticipate problems or spot opportunities.

  • What are the issues keeping your boss up at night?
  • What outside factors are putting pressure on the business?
  • What outside factors might provide an advantage for growth?

The “How can I help you?” conversation: Your manager has their share of projects to manage. You should be looking for ways to help them be successful. Never miss an opportunity to make your boss look good.

  • Identify ways you can add value.
  • Communicate your specific steps you can take and your desire to help.
  • Follow through with any commitments.

The “Will you help me?” conversation: It’s the job of the boss to help you, so they’re expecting this one. Save this conversation for last to illustrate your desire to work as a team, but don’t just dump your problems at their feet.

  • Identify specific steps you’d like for the boss to take.
  • Communicate the necessity of acting and the impact their actions will have.
  • Express gratitude for their continued support.

It’s tough being a boss. People look at you differently and most try to avoid conversations – either out of fear or a desire to appear independent. But your boss has the same needs you do – they want people they can talk to, confide in, and collaborate with. Make a point to be that person.

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Getting to Yes

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directory-973992_640You have an idea. It’s a great one; an idea that will save the company a lot of money, increase revenue, improve customer service, or just make everyone’s job easier. And it’s a no-brainer; nothing huge; just a small tweak that will move the needle in a positive way. Now you can’t stop thinking about it. In fact, the more you’ve thought about it, the more you’re convinced that this needs to happen.

So you pick up the phone, or draft an email, or walk across the hall to the one person who stands the best chance of helping you get this idea out of your head and into the real world – your boss. After laying out the basics of your suggestion, you pause to gauge their reaction and … nothing. No smile. No nod. No enthusiastically worded agreement. At best, you get “we’ll think about it.” More than likely, it’s some form of “No.”

Today’s organizations are in desperate need of innovation. Competition, regulation, and economic pressure are constantly at work – forcing companies into static, boring molds of mediocrity. Broad, sweeping change is harder and harder to accomplish. More than ever, we need employees who can identify micro-improvements; tiny, incremental, seemingly insignificant shifts in the way business works. It’s through these tweaks, compounded over time, that huge change can actually take place.[Tweet “It’s through micro-improvements, seemingly insignificant tweaks, that huge change takes place.”]

Unfortunately, it’s the boss who typically stands in the way. They just don’t see the benefit. There are bigger fish to fry. Now isn’t the time. Resources aren’t available. It’s just easier to leave things the way they are. Your idea is dead before it ever gets out of the starting gate.

According to Susan Ashford and James Detert, the problem may not be the boss, but you; or more accurately, your approach. In a 2015 study of “issue selling,” they identified seven tactics that spell success when to comes to championing organization change. Here are their steps, along with some thought prompts to consider before making your run at management.

  1. Tailor your pitch. Where does my audience stand on this issue? What does my audience find most convincing or compelling?
  2. Frame the issue. How can I connect my issue to organizational priorities? How can I best describe its benefits? How can I link it to other issues receiving attention? How can I highlight an opportunity for the organization?
  3. Manage emotions on both sides. How can I use my emotions to generate positive rather than negative responses? How can I manage my audience’s emotional responses?
  4. Get the timing right. What is the best moment to be heard? Can I “catch the wave” of a trend, for example, or tap into what’s going on in the outside world? What is the right time in the decision-making process to raise my issue?
  5. Involve others. Which allies from my network can help me sell my issue, and how can I involve them effectively? Who are my potential blockers, and how can I persuade them to support me? Who are my fence-sitters, and how can I convince them that my issue matters?
  6. Adhere to norms. Should I use a formal, public approach to sell my issue (for example, a presentation to upper management)? Or an informal, private approach (casual one-on-one conversations)? Or a combination of the two?
  7. Suggest solutions. Am I suggesting a viable solution? If not, am I proposing a way to discover one instead of just highlighting the problem?

Selling an issue to management looks a lot like selling a product or service to a prospect. Your approach is just as important as your message. Effective salespeople always think through an upcoming interaction, seeking the right combination of timing, words, and circumstances to help them communicate clearly and effectively. This same consideration should be taken when approaching management with your request for change.

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The Most Important Relationship of Your Career

Posted on by Scott

gears-1666498_640There’s no shortage of advice for managers out there. Scores of books have been written about managing employees, leading great service, and working with outside entities. It’s easy to find articles, videos, and even live training events focused on these topics. But when it comes to working with your boss, what’s called “managing up,” there’s little help to be found. A few are blessed with a relationship where communication flows freely and minds seem to be in sync. Most have to stumble their way through, approaching each interaction with a mixture of anticipation and dread.

That’s a shame, because your relationship with your direct supervisor is probably the most important one of all. When someone is in a position to provide you with the access, resources, knowledge, and support necessary to be successful, it stands to reason that this would be a relationship worth cultivating. The times I’ve been fortunate enough to enjoy a mutually beneficial relationship with a boss have been the most productive and rewarding of my career. The better your priorities mesh with those of your boss, the smoother things go for both of you.[Tweet “The better your priorities mesh with those of your boss, the smoother things go for both of you.”]

Take a few minutes and think about your relationship with your current supervisor. Would you say its “great,” “ok,” or “barely existent?” More importantly, why do you think that is? As you ponder what’s working and not working with respect to this all-important partnership, here are a few more questions to consider.

  • How often do you and your boss communicate? Frequent communication is a sign of a healthy relationship. If you and your manager rarely speak, how can they possibly understand your needs? How can you understand theirs?
  • When you do speak, what form does the conversation take? Is it collaborative, encouraging, and meaningful? Or is it stiff, to-the-point, and conducted on the fly? If you and your manager never share a meal, laugh together, or discuss common non-work related interests, it may be time to bond. Personal, informal communication is another sign of a healthy relationship.
  • How much do you and your boss know about each other’s work projects, daily struggles, and career ambitions? What is your leader working on right now? What keeps them up at night? Understanding the issues that drive someone forward helps you frame your priorities in light of theirs. Seeing where their passions lie allows you to identify ways you can be of service.
  • How much do you trust each other to get things done? To do the right thing? Any relationship without trust is doomed to fail. Do you see your boss as someone who can be counted on? Do they see you this way? Without trust, there is no relationship.
  • If you had the opportunity to choose another boss, would you? Would they choose a different person to fill your position? Are you working for your boss, with them, or against them? Examine your own motives and behaviors before questioning theirs.

It can be easy to grumble and complain about someone who appears to be standing in the way of progress. Often, that someone is the boss. But it’s just as easy to forget that they too have a job to do. They have goals and expectations, competing interests vying for their attention, and obstacles they are working to overcome. As hard as it may be to believe, they are people too.

Forging meaningful relationships always requires two people. Both have to be willing to meet in the middle, share information, and work together. It’s true of personal relationships and it’s true in the workplace. The stronger the relationship, the more quickly and effectively work gets done. Put some effort into “managing up” and see how much easier both of your jobs can be.

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