It goes without saying that regular communication between you and your manager is one sign of a healthy relationship. Ongoing, meaningful conversations are necessary to maintain your connection and ability to “read” each other. When you and your boss are in sync, work is smoother, more efficient, and more productive.
If contact is infrequent or impersonal, it can signify a lack of trust or a lack of engagement. Either is a sign of a degrading relationship and should ring alarm bell sin your head. A lack of regular communication is a symptom of larger issues that need to be addressed before things go too far. Should you find yourself wondering if you need to communicate more, you probably do.
But what kind of conversations should you and your manager be having? Beyond an exchange of pleasantries or questions about weekend plans, what kind of topics ought to be at the center of your dialogue? Here are four types of conversations you and your boss should be having:
The “What’s going on?” conversation: You and your manager should make an effort to keep each other in the loop regarding the current state of the business.
- Discuss your numbers – What’s driving them? Is that spike or dip an anomaly or something we should have expected? How are the activities the team engages in day-to-day affecting performance?
- Discuss your customers – What are they saying? What hits and misses have impacted your ability to serve lately? What are they getting somewhere else that you aren’t providing?
- Discuss your team – Are people happy and engaged? If so, why> If not, why not? What seems to be working or not working as a team?
The “What’s coming up?” conversation: You and your manager should make an effort to look ahead in order to anticipate problems or spot opportunities.
- What are the issues keeping your boss up at night?
- What outside factors are putting pressure on the business?
- What outside factors might provide an advantage for growth?
The “How can I help you?” conversation: Your manager has their share of projects to manage. You should be looking for ways to help them be successful. Never miss an opportunity to make your boss look good.
- Identify ways you can add value.
- Communicate your specific steps you can take and your desire to help.
- Follow through with any commitments.
The “Will you help me?” conversation: It’s the job of the boss to help you, so they’re expecting this one. Save this conversation for last to illustrate your desire to work as a team, but don’t just dump your problems at their feet.
- Identify specific steps you’d like for the boss to take.
- Communicate the necessity of acting and the impact their actions will have.
- Express gratitude for their continued support.
It’s tough being a boss. People look at you differently and most try to avoid conversations – either out of fear or a desire to appear independent. But your boss has the same needs you do – they want people they can talk to, confide in, and collaborate with. Make a point to be that person.
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You have an idea. It’s a great one; an idea that will save the company a lot of money, increase revenue, improve customer service, or just make everyone’s job easier. And it’s a no-brainer; nothing huge; just a small tweak that will move the needle in a positive way. Now you can’t stop thinking about it. In fact, the more you’ve thought about it, the more you’re convinced that this needs to happen.
Trust is a critical part of any relationship. Knowing you can rely on a partner or teammate allows you to focus on your strengths and responsibilities without worrying that something important will fall through the cracks. In a workplace setting, that’s especially important. Breaches of trust will break a team faster than anything else. Trust is also key to a healthy relationship with the boss.
There’s no shortage of advice for managers out there. Scores of books have been written about managing employees, leading great service, and working with outside entities. It’s easy to find articles, videos, and even live training events focused on these topics. But when it comes to working with your boss, what’s called “managing up,” there’s little help to be found. A few are blessed with a relationship where communication flows freely and minds seem to be in sync. Most have to stumble their way through, approaching each interaction with a mixture of anticipation and dread.
Addressing conflict is one of the key responsibilities of a leader. It’s not a fun job; in fact it’s often quite messy. Nevertheless, it has to be done in order for a team or organization to operate effectively. Conflict rarely resolves itself. While things may eventually seem to smooth out on the surface, there are always scars. Poorly handled conflict results in missed growth opportunities, the loss of top performers, and an unstable environment for those left behind.
If there’s one aspect of the job that managers do their best to avoid, its conflict. Ideally, things would always run smoothly in the workplace. Each person would do their job, goals would be aligned, and differences would magically work themselves out. Unfortunately, that’s just not the case. In fact, one study found that the some managers spend up to a quarter of their time working to resolve conflict. That’s a lot of time devoted to an activity that’s simply not a lot of fun. Because conflict resolution is so mentally and emotionally draining, a lot of managers choose to ignore it. They simply look the other way.
By the time German inventor Hans Schwarzkopf introduced liquid shampoo to the public in 1927, people had been washing their hair with various mixtures for centuries. The earliest examples involved mixing soapberries, gooseberry, and other herbs and using the extract to lather the hair. Later, Europeans would take to boiling shaved soap in water. Herbs were still typically added to give the soap soup a pleasing aroma. But Schwarzkopf’s shampoo was the first to be sold in a pre-mixed, liquid form.
In the course of history, a lot of very smart, successful people have made statements that, in hindsight, seem rather silly. Given their position, expertise, and experience, they felt comfortable making predictions that proved untrue. Consider these examples:
My oldest son started back to school this morning. It will be his last semester of Nursing School and he’ll be an RN (hopefully) in December. My other two kids will be heading back to high school in a couple of weeks. Like a lot of families, our conversations this weekend periodically morphed into discussion of the various challenges and expectations the new school year will hold. We talked about strengths and weaknesses and bounced around strategies to try and get the most out of the fall semester.
On June 1, 1989, four men set sail from New Zealand aboard a trimaran called the Rose Noelle. They were headed for Tonga – a trip that should have taken them just a couple of weeks. But three days into their voyage, a rogue wave stuck the Rose Noelle, capsizing it and trapping the men inside the main hull. They had little food and a rapidly diminishing water supply. To stay dry, they were forced to share a space no larger than a full-sized bed. They’d managed to salvage the boat’s EPIRB locator beacon, but its batteries ran out on June 13th. The men were now on their own, adrift with nothing but their wits to help them survive. And survive they did – for 119 days.