Cracking the Code

Posted on by Scott

letters-3403152_640In November of 1990, a new sculpture titled “Kryptos” was installed on the grounds of CIA headquarters in Langley. Created by artist Jim Sanborn, the 12 block of copper is covered with 1,800 characters carved in four sections. Each section is written in a different code and, together, they form a riddle. It took eight years for the first three section to be decoded. Despite attempts by the CIA, NSA, and others around the world – not to mention a handful of clues provided by the artist – the fourth code has yet to be cracked. And it’s only 97 characters long.

I guess some puzzles are just really hard to solve.

Most of us aren’t analysts with the government, nor do we have sophisticated computer systems at our fingertips that can run decryption algorithms; but we still have riddles to solve. We wrestle with personal puzzles like “How do I lose weight?” or “Why can’t I seem to get motivated?” In the workplace we struggle to crack the codes of leadership, performance, and growth strategy.

And we struggle with these things despite the abundance of clues at our disposal. Type the word leadership into Google’s search engine for example, and you’ll find:

178,000,000 news articles

1,160,000,000 videos

4,210,000,000 total results

Shouldn’t we have cracked the leadership code by now? (For what it’s worth, I asked Google that exact question and got 10,800,000 answers.) Maybe some codes just aren’t meant to be cracked. Perhaps in some cases, the struggle is the point.

What if the fight to become a better leader is what actually makes you better?

What if the struggle to improve my performance is what causes my performance to improve?

What if wrestling with growing the business is what actually results in sustained growth?

I was talking with a friend about the issues he was having some members of his team. He threw up his hands and asked “Why does it all have to be so difficult?” (Google has 1,110,000,000 answers to that question by the way.) I think the real answer is “because it has to be.” The struggle is what makes us better. If “it” – whatever your “it” is – was easy, everyone would be doing it.

So keep fighting. Keep working on the puzzle. Keep trying to crack the code. Know that the attempt itself is what matters. Google doesn’t have the answer because the question is the answer.

Jim Sanborn says the answer to his sculpture/code/riddle is on a piece of paper locked in a safe deposit box. Should someone claim to have figured it out, he stands ready to open the box and verify that their work has paid off. I’m starting to wonder if there’s anything written on that piece of paper at all.

Leading Questions

Posted on by Scott

questions-2212771__340Leaders ask questions.

Leading managers ask questions to help them guide the team to grow.

Leading service providers ask questions to help them solve customer problems.

Leading salespeople ask questions to help them meet unspoken needs.

We should all be asking more (and better) questions, but we don’t. They may enter our mind, but we stop short of actually asking because we’re afraid – afraid that people will get upset with us for prying into places we don’t belong. We’re afraid of coming across as pushy or nosy or a busybody.

Here’s a news flash – you won’t.

As a leader, my team expects me to ask questions – how else can I lead them effectively?

As a service provider, my customer expects me to ask questions – how else can I serve them properly?

As a salesperson, my prospects expect me to ask questions – how else can I propose meaningful solutions?

Asking questions is an expected behavior. Think about the last time you went to the doctor. Did they ask you about your symptoms? Of course they did. They also asked about your exercise habits, your diet, and your family history.

Talk about being nosy. But did you take offense? No. Because you know that in order to do the best job they can for you, they have to ask questions. You’d be crazy to trust any doctor who started prescribing a course of treatment without first doing a bit of fact-finding.

Why is your business any different?

If you’re not asking questions, you’re simply not doing your job very well. Your team is heading in the wrong direction. Your customers are confused. Your sales are below goal.

Now let me suggest that you ask yourself a question or two. Are you ready for a change? Are you ready to turn things around? Are you ready to take control and make the second half of 2019 the start of a new era?

Are you ready to lead?

Let’s get curious, and in the process we’ll become better bosses, customer advocates, and even better salespeople. Let’s ask more questions and see where the answers can take us.

Full Superman

Posted on by Scott

superhero-2503808_640In case you missed it, a guy named Infinite Tucker recently won a race by literally flying across the finish line. It was May 11th and the finals of the 400-meter hurdles event at the 2019 SEC Track & Field Championships. Infinite (that’s his real name) and his Texas A&M teammate Robert Grant were neck and neck coming to the finish. The junior launched himself into the air, going “full Superman,” and dove across the finish line. He crashed to the ground, just beating his friend and winning the gold medal.

Head coach Pat Henry later joked that diving wasn’t necessary. “Just run through and you’ll be fine,” he said. However, you have to admire Tucker’s determination to win. He wasn’t going to let anything or anyone come between him and the big prize. Going airborne during a track and field meet is not something you see every day; but it definitely illustrates the winning spirit.

Most runners start off strong and fade throughout the course of the race. They may get out of the gate quickly and put some distance between themselves and the rest of the pack; but they soon run out of gas. They haven’t paced themselves and drop quickly to the back of the group. Their participation becomes little more than a footnote.

Others look strong, but crash spectacularly. They trip over a hurdle, another runner, or even their own feet. They’ve lost focus and veered off track somehow. Sprawled on the ground, all they can do is watch as someone else claims the victory that was to have been theirs.

It’s a rare competitor who has what it takes to finish the race strong. A good start, a steady pace, unbroken focus, and a little kick right at the end – these are what it takes to cross the finish line a winner. That’s what it takes to be a champion, regardless of your chosen competition.

We’re just a few days away from the end of the week. Friday marks the end of yet another month. Are you still running? Have you kept the pace so that you are in contention for the prize? Is the goal in sight? Do you have a little bit left to give?

Come on Superman, let’s see what you’ve got.

More Than Just a Goal

Posted on by Scott

bulls-eye-1044725_640By now, the vast majority of New Year’s resolutions made just a few weeks ago (remember those), have been forgotten. A study by U.S. News indicates that 80% of resolutions each year fail by the second week of February. Here we are in the second week of March and there’s probably no point in studying this topic anymore. Anyone who’s kept their resolutions this long is an anomaly – the exception that proves the rule.

The question is, “why do so many resolutions fail?” We make them in good faith, don’t we? I know that any time I come up with a personal goal it’s with the best of intentions. In the moment, I truly believe I have the power to change some aspect of my behavior, otherwise I wouldn’t go through the pretense of creating an expectation. What changes between the day I set a goal and the day I finally abandon it?

The answer for most of us is… nothing. Nothing changes. We’ve set a goal and allowed that to be the end of it. As humans we have a tendency to believe that a single decision invokes change. I want get in better shape and so I make the decision to join a gym. Having taken that step eases the internal tension I was feeling and I feel better about things. “I’m on my way,” I tell myself. “No turning back now.”

In reality though, I haven’t changed anything. That one decision, in and of itself, has no power. Having relived my mind of the initial conflict, I am free to return to my lazy routine. I’ll occasionally remind myself that I need to follow up on the initial commitment, but it’s never the right time to act. By mid-February, I’ll have either forgotten all about it, or decided to wait until next year. My behavior hasn’t changed.

Replace personal resolutions with work goals, and the pattern is the same. Team members will agree to adopt a new way of operating only to abandon it in fairly short order. It only takes a single, small slip-up to convince the entire group that changing isn’t possible.

To change the outcome, we have to change the way we approach the initial decision. We need to consider two factors that have enormous impact on our ability to actually achieve the goals we set. Those factors are specificity and commitment.

To start with, we’re rarely specific enough when setting goals. “I’m going to start going to the gym” or “We’re going to generate more referrals” are simply too vague to be meaningful. Real goal-setting involves developing a set of strategies to achieve the goal. We miss the mark because we haven’t thought about how we’re going to actually hit it.

Once our strategies are developed, few of us are actually committed enough to see them through. When the first unforeseen obstacle come along, we allow that to derail us. The plan is abandoned in favor of something easier to achieve. Only the strong-willed have what it takes to see things through when the going gets rough. Very few have the energy to win at the long game.

Motivational speaker Zig Ziglar used to ask his audiences “Are you a wandering generality, or a meaningful specific?” In other words, are you just bouncing from one vague goal to another, or do you have a plan to achieve what you’re after? Are you comfortable being at the mercy of your circumstances, or do have a clear picture of who you want to be that drives your actions each day?

I think I’d much prefer to be a meaningful specific. How about you?

What’s Your Plan?

Posted on by Scott

document-3268750_640Just over a week ago, the Apple Store in Moscow opened to a massive throng. For more than a day, people had been lining up to purchase the new iPhone XS and XS Max. As employees prepared to unlock the doors, a huge cheer rose from the crowd.

Product launches like this have been occurring for years, and it’s considered a badge of honor to be the first in line to purchase the latest gadgets. Yet, the first man in this particular line wasn’t very excited. In fact, he tore up his ticket and walked away, despite having camped out in front of the store for days. He was soon joined by the next seven in line. All abandoned their highly-coveted spot and left without ever setting foot inside the store.

That left the ninth man, who said his name was Valery, at the top of the queue. He walked inside; waving to the employees and reporters who had gathered to cover the event. Then he suddenly covered his face with his cap and awkwardly left the building without making a purchase. Like the eight people before him, he’d never actually planned on buying anything in the first place.

Each of these individuals had secured their place in line hoping to sell it to another consumer – someone eager to among the first with a new iPhone. With asking prices of up to 500,000 rubles (just over $7,600), it seemed like an easy way to make a lot of money. When no one showed to take them up on the offer, however, they had no choice but to abandon the wait and their hopes of cashing in.

Hope is not a strategy. It’s actually strategy’s direct opposite. Consider these definitions:

Hope: a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.

Strategy: a plan of action or policy designed to achieve a major or overall aim.

The key to the difference lies in the first two words of each definition. Hope is a feeling. Strategy is a plan. Hope is guesswork. Often described as a hunch, it offers the promise of maximum payout with minimal effort. It’s the default move of those who are too lazy or inept to devise and execute a plan.

Leaders who crush their goals always have a strategy to do so. They analyze the circumstances, create a plan of action, and then execute it. They involve the team, partnering with those who offer complementary skill sets and resources. They track their progress, adjusting along the way so that steady progress continues to be made. In short, they work hard. They work their strategy knowing that their actions are what produce results. And because they have a strategy, hope isn’t necessary.

As the fourth quarter of 2018 gets underway, I hope you have a strategic plan in place. I hope you are prepared to execute that plan so that your goals are met. I hope you aren’t relying on hope. Don’t be like Valery and others like him who simply wait for things to happen only to risk walking away empty-handed.

All That Matters

Posted on by Scott

american-football-2940149_640In case you haven’t heard, the Philadelphia Eagles beat the New England Patriots to win the Super Bowl last night. The final score was 41-33 in a game full of surprises and new football records. While many were rooting for the Eagles, the seemed stacked against them.

This was only the third Super Bowl appearance for the Eagles; they’d lost the first two. By contrast, the Patriots were playing in their 10th championship game, having won five of the previous nine.

Eagles quarterback Nick Foles was a backup player. He’d replaced Philadelphia’s injured starter just before the playoffs started. He had no Super Bowl experience. In fact, just a few years ago he almost quit the game. New England quarterback Tom Brady, on the other hand, walked in with loads of experience. Each of those five Patriot titles were won with him at the QB spot. He’s often referred to as the “GOAT” – the greatest of all time.

Las Vegas odd-makers didn’t expect the Eagles to win; the Patriots were favored by 4.5 points. Although many people said they were ready to see the Patriot dynasty come to a close, but most predicted a New England victory.

Yes, it seems like everything and everyone had lines up against the Eagles – everyone except for the Eagles that is.

To them, the odds didn’t matter. History didn’t matter. Public opinion didn’t matter. All that mattered was their shared desire to succeed. They scored quickly and they scored often. They came up with an answer for everything the competition threw at them. They kept their eyes on the prize and moved steadily toward it.

There are million reasons why you should fall short of your goal this year. There are obstacles in your path, shortages of resources, and gaps in experience. There are setbacks around every corner. And yet, none of that matters.

All that matters is the desire to be successful. Do you have it?

Can You Hear Me, or Aren’t You Listening?

Posted on by Scott

listeningThe human body truly is amazing. Take your ears, for example. So many of us take them for granted. Yet these odd looking appendages allow us to enjoy music, recognize friend from foe, and engage in meaningful communication. In fact, we rely on verbal communication to such an extent that references to ears and hearing are everywhere.

“Do you hear what I hear?”

“Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears.”

“Can you hear me now?”

Here are a few facts about our ears that you may find interesting:

  • The outer ear, the part hanging on the side of your head, is designed in a way that funnels the variety of sound waves around us and channels them to the middle ear.
  • Incoming sound moves from the outer ear to the eardrum, causing it to vibrate. These vibrations are picked up by three bones that amplify the sound.
  • These three bones (the malleus, the incus, and the stapes) make up the middle ear and are the smallest in the human body. All three could fit on the face of a penny.
  • After leaving the middle ear, sound waves are picked up by tiny hairs in the liquid medium of our inner ear. These hairs release chemicals that send signals to the brain which interprets the sound.
  • Humans are capable of detecting sounds as low as 20 Hz and as high as 20,000 Hz.
  • We need both ears to help determine the direction from which sounds originate. Using both ears also makes it easier to pick out someone’s speech in noisy environments.
  • The human ear continues to function even while we are asleep. The brain simply blocks out most of the input.

As incredible as our ears are, we don’t do a very good of using them. As far back as 1957, researchers have been studying the difference between hearing and listening. That’s when Ralph G. Nichols and Leonard A. Stevens from the University of Minnesota conducted tests to find the connection between hearing information and retaining it.

They tested several thousand people by having them listen to a short talk and then testing them on the content. Their tests revealed that “immediately after the average person has listened to someone talk, he remembers only about half of what he has heard – no matter how carefully he thought he was listening.” Within two months, the average participant in their study could only recall about 25% of what had been said during the short talk they had listened to.

You would expect that, over time, we’d retain less and less of the material we’d been exposed to, but the University of Minnesota study found otherwise. After one year, Nichols and Stevens reported that we tend to forget more during the first, shortest interval than we do over the next six months or more. The most significant retention loss occurs within the first eight hours.

Their conclusion was rather blunt: people simply do not know how to listen.

Hearing and listening are two very different activities. Hearing is a passive activity. It happens without me doing anything. Without any effort on my part, sound waves are entering my outer ear, hitting my eardrum and vibrating the bones of my middle ear, and then creating chemical secretions in the hair of my inner ear which then travel to my brain. This complex process is effortless.

Listening, however, is not a passive activity. Listening is intentional. It requires me to concentrate on specific sounds in order to analyze them. Listening involves more than just the ears. The brain must be engaged in order to create context, meaning, and application. This complex process is anything but effortless.

But remember, Nichols and Stevens found that the no matter how hard participants in their study worked at listening, the results were still the same. Listening “harder” did not help anyone retain more information or hold onto it for a longer period of time. The problem, they said, is that our brains are just too powerful.

Most Americans speak at a rate of around 125 words per minute. Our brains, on the other hand, process information significantly faster. We still know all there is to know about the brain, but suffice it say 125 words a minute barely registers. Our minds simply have a lot of extra time to ponder other things even while listening intently to someone else.

I myself am often distracted while trying to listen to other people. For instance, during a walk around my neighborhood, I like to download a podcast or two in order to help pass the time. I hit the play button and focus my mind on the speaker’s content, intent on learning something new and interesting. But within seconds, my mind has drifted. Something that’s said sends causes my thoughts to wander. Sometimes I start thinking about how I can apply one of principles they’ve shared. Other times, a word or phrase jogs my memory about an unrelated topic and my mind is off to the races – moving in a different direction even as the speaker shares valuable and intriguing information. I’m hearing, but I’m not listening.

They key to improved listening has nothing to do with our ears. Obviously, the answer doesn’t lie in slowing our brains down either. We’ve got to arm ourselves with tools that help focus our minds in a way that listening is improved. We have to discover methods of actively participating with the information being received so that it makes a bigger impact.

That’s why the term “active listening” is so appropriate. Listening is not a passive activity. It requires action on our part in order to work. The next time you find your mind drifting during a conversation, don’t just sit there. Take action!

4 Ways to Boost Your Business Curb Appeal

Posted on by Scott

house-2113824_640We recently had our first really warm weekend out here in Lubbock, Texas. My entire family spent the better part of it outside, weeding and tidying things up in anticipation of spring. As we worked, my wife I got to reminiscing about our first house. At only 1,100 square feet or so, it wasn’t much to look at. It was a starter home in a new subdivision and the amenities were pretty sparse.

I can remember our first attempts at landscaping. As a new home, the outside was bare and we were desperate to make it as homey and inviting as possible. Two things stood in our way, however. We were broke and we knew nothing about landscaping. For our home to have any curb appeal, we had to get creative.

We started reading and looking at pictures in the magazines at home improvement stores. We asked friends and neighbors for advice. Mostly, we just drove around the fancier neighborhoods for inspiration. We gathered cast-off bricks from construction sites to use as edging for flower beds. We planted cuttings provided by family members and rescue plants that others had thrown away. We did what we could with what we had.

A lot of businesses could use some curb appeal. The results of a consumer survey by Omnibus shows that 95% of the time, a business’ exterior appearance influences the decision to shop there. 67% of those responding to the survey said that they had decided not to visit a particular store based solely on what they saw from the outside. I would hate to think that a potential customer chose a competitor over me simply because of what they saw from the parking lot.

Of course, many businesses find themselves in the same position that Susan I were in as newlyweds. They simply don’t have the budget to hire a landscaping company or other professional to come and make the necessary improvements. The desire may be there, but the means aren’t. Like us, they need to get creative.

Here are some quick ideas I thought of to make your location a bit more attractive from the outside.

1. Get trashy. Do the employees entering your building step right over trash in the parking lot or around the entrance? Maybe they feel this is someone else’s job, but it isn’t. Sure, they pick up their own trash should it slip out of their hand, but someone else’s? I don’t think so. This kind of thinking isn’t healthy. We spend too much of our time at work to shrug off this responsibility.

At Disney World, every employee – from the CEO down – is expected to pick up any trash they come across. In the Boy Scouts, we believe in leaving a campsite better than we found it. That means we train young men in our organization to pick up the trash (any trash) instead of passing it by. Sprucing up an exterior space doesn’t get any more basic than this.

2. Park it. Have you ever passed by a business with an empty parking lot and wondered “Are they even open?” People don’t necessarily like to be the first, or the only, customers to walk inside an establishment. Yet an empty parking lot sends the signal that you’re either closed or not very popular. Neither is good for attracting business.

Bartenders are trained to put a couple of their own bills in the tip jar. It sends an unconscious signal to customers that they should also be tipping. If your location suffers from spotty traffic, you might consider having an employee or two park in the customer area as an indication that you are indeed open for business. That subtle hint might be all a prospect needs to prompt a visit.

3. Sign up. Does your exterior signage serve to invite people inside? It should. Some small businesses use this technique to great advantage. They advertise a special of the day, promote a new product, or just display a funny line designed to showcase their personality. All provide a reason to come inside.

If you have an electronic marquee available, use it. If you don’t, go analog. Think outside the four walls of the building. A white board on an easel can be used outside to catch the eye of passersby. I once helped a guy at Home Depot load some plywood into his truck. He told me he was making a large chalkboard (they make paint for that) to sit outside his storefront. I can think of a lot of ways to use something like that.

4. Go green. Nothing attracts attention like nice landscaping. Some greenery breaks up boring walls and make a building feel settled. Colorful flowers beg for a closer look. Both make a commercial location feel more approachable. And you don’t have to break the bank to get there.

While thinking about this week’s article, I read about a small business located in an office park without any landscaping. Everywhere you look, there was concrete and asphalt. The employees each brought a potted plant of their own and they were grouped by the front door. Each employee took pride in their contribution and made sure it was watered and cared for. People started walking inside just to comment on the flowers. They usually wound up buying something too.

Maybe these ideas appeal to you, maybe they don’t. My intention this week isn’t to advocate a specific action for you to take. It’s to make a point, and that is: You don’t have to break the bank to add curb appeal. You just have to care enough to act. Don’t let the absence of a huge landscaping budget keep you from doing what you can to improve the look of your workplace. If you won’t do it for the customer, do it for yourself. Like the clothes we wear, the environment we work in affects the way we approach our job. Why not take a step or two to improve that environment?

Addressing the curb appeal of our first home was an adventure.  We made a lot of mistakes, but we learned a lot and made some memories. We also attracted the attention of our neighborhood association. They came to visit us one day to talk about our front yard. It seems we’d created quite the buzz with our creative approach – so much so that we’d won first place in the inaugural neighborhood landscaping contest.

What Goes Around Comes Around: Why You Should Give First

Posted on by Scott

adventure-1807524_640In December of 1974, Phillip Kunz and his wife sat down to write their annual Christmas cards. To some people, they wrote short notes. Other cards included a family photograph. Each envelope included their return address in the upper left hand corner. The Kuntz’s mailed hundreds of Christmas cards that year – most of them to complete strangers.

At the time, Kunz was employed as a sociologist with Brigham Young University. The 600 cards he mailed to people he had never met were part of an experiment. Their names were pulled at random from the phone books of nearby towns. “It was just, you know, a shot in the dark,” he said. He simply wanted to know what would happen.

A few days later, Kunz got his answer. A Christmas card from one of the random strangers appeared in his mailbox. Then another showed up, and another. Soon he was receiving around a dozen cards each day. Some people sent photos of their own, while others took the time to write expressions of friendship. A few included letters; page after page of updates on families he didn’t even know.

What Kunz had experienced was a phenomena called the Law of Reciprocity. It’s one of the unwritten rules that govern human interactions. This law says that we are obligated to repay a kindness that someone else shows to us. And this rule is universal – there’s not a culture on the planet that doesn’t subscribe to it.

From an early age, we are all trained to reciprocate when someone does something nice for us. When someone greets us in the hallway, we’re taught to say hello in return. If a door is held open for us, we seek to hold the next one open in return. It’s so ingrained in us, that we usually don’t even think about it. We just react.

Psychologist Robert Cialdini has done extensive research into the power of subtle triggers like this. He’s found that the law of reciprocation extends beyond our social interactions into business ones as well. For instance, he found that restaurant servers who provide a mint along with the check receive tips that are about 3% higher than those who just deliver the check. What he found particularly interesting was that a second mint, presented personally while looking the customer in the eye, sent tips “through the roof.” Those servers received 20% more in tips than their counterparts.

Cialdini’s research illuminates an interesting aspect of this law. Not only are we driven to repay a kindness that’s been extended to us, but our repayment tends to be exponentially higher than that which we received. Think about it, does a dinner mint really warrant a tip 20% larger than normal? Apparently, it does.

As a kid, I was told “It’s better to give than receive.” My parents said it, my grandparents did too. I heard it in Sunday school and from most of the people I trusted.

I didn’t understand that until I got older and found myself in a position to help out friends, family, and kids of my own. But it feels good to give. Various scientific studies have even confirmed the existence of the “helper’s high.” When we extend a kindness to someone else, our brains light up in the same regions that are activated when we receive a gift ourselves. And the effect is actually more intense than what we experience as a recipient.

Naturally, there’s a catch. In order for the law of reciprocity to kick in, the initial gift has to be perceived as genuine. The second we realize that the extra mint isn’t a sincere act on the part of our server, but rather a ploy to encourage larger tips, all bets are off. The gift actually works against you at this point. I’m likely to leave smaller tip (a lot smaller) than normal if I perceive the server is attempting to manipulate me.

But there’s more…

There’s another phenomenon at play here called the Halo Effect. When we take the initiative to offer a kind gesture, it naturally makes the recipient feel good. They not only appreciate the gift, but their view of the giver in that moment is extremely positive. The Halo Effect means that the positive impression we’ve made carries over to other actions we take. The initial act of kindness makes everything else we do appear that much more significant.

Let’s recap for a second:

  • Receiving a gift feels good.
  • Sincere giving feels better than receiving.
  • Receiving creates positive general feelings about the giver.
  • Receiving creates a sense of obligation to repay the giver.
  • The reciprocal benefit is likely to be of much greater value than what we gave.

What goes around, comes around – big time. Can you imagine the impact on our business if we’d all focus less on what we had to gain from a prospect or a customer, and put our focus on what have to offer them? I’m not talking about giving away the store here. Small acts of sincere kindness result in huge returns.

Why isn’t this our business model? Why aren’t we all giving more?

Get a Grip: Master the Handshake

Posted on by Scott

handshake-1471563_640Technically, it’s called dexiosis. That’s the short ritual in which “two people grasp one of each other’s like hands,” typically the right ones. In most cases, it’s accompanied by a brief up and down movement of the grasped hands.

What we refer to as a handshake is thought to have originated in ancient Greece. Ruins from as far back as the 5th century BC show soldiers shaking hands. Scholars believe the gesture began as a way for two strangers to greet each other in peace. Extending your empty hand for a handshake proved you were unarmed, and therefore not an immediate threat.

These days, handshakes are used in a variety of situations beyond an initial greeting. They can take place when parties part ways, to offer congratulations for an achievement, to express gratitude, or to seal an agreement. Handshakes are a staple of business interactions.

Despite the common use of handshakes, there remains a great deal of confusion about them. How tight should I grip? How long should I hold the other person’s hand before letting go? Should women shake hands? Uncertainty has resulted in a plethora of unsatisfying, even gross, handshake exchanges.

If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of a dead fish, a clammy palm, or a bone-crusher, you know how easily handshakes can go wrong. Since a good handshake goes a long way toward making a great first impression, let’s clear up some misconceptions. Here are a few tips for delivering good handshakes.

  1. Anyone can initiate a handshake but, as the business professional, you should make the effort to recognize the customer or prospect and make the first move.
  1. Start and end business conversations with a handshake. The first serves as a formal greeting and a sign of trust. The second indicates agreement and a mutually beneficial conclusion.
  1. Make sure your hands are clean and dry. If you are prone to cold or clammy hands, anticipate the need to address it before extending your hand.
  1. Face the person directly with your shoulders facing theirs. Don’t approach from the side or attempt to shake hands while on the move.
  1. Assume the right hand will be used. Someone who needs to use their left will let you know. I have a friend with a prosthetic right hand. He’s always the first to extend his hand (the left) so things aren’t awkward.
  1. Extend your hand and make full contact with the other person’s hand, aiming for web to web contact. Avoid grasping just the fingers.
  1. Use a firm grip. Squeezing too hard doesn’t make you appear powerful, just disrespectful. A limp hand comes across as timid or nervous.
  1. Give two or three pumps and loosen your grip to indicate you are ready to let go. Shaking for more than a few seconds is generally considered awkward.
  1. Maintain eye contact throughout the handshake. Don’t look over their shoulder or to the side. This is usually when a stranger offers their name, so pay attention.
  1. The same rules apply whether shaking hands with a man or woman. Treat everyone with the same level of respect and professionalism.

There are a lot of customs that have somehow fallen out of common business practice. It’s rare that you see someone holding the door for another, using courtesy words, or shaking hands. Sad as this may be, it provides an advantage for those of us seeking a competitive advantage over the competition. Making use of good business etiquette is an easy way to stand out from the crowd. Use the power of a good handshake to signal you’re someone worth doing business with.