When Good Leaders Do Bad Things

egg-583163_640Addressing conflict is one of the key responsibilities of a leader. It’s not a fun job; in fact it’s often quite messy. Nevertheless, it has to be done in order for a team or organization to operate effectively. Conflict rarely resolves itself. While things may eventually seem to smooth out on the surface, there are always scars. Poorly handled conflict results in missed growth opportunities, the loss of top performers, and an unstable environment for those left behind.

It’s worth noting that, even as they should be working to resolve conflict, many managers act in ways that cause or escalate it. Certain actions, or inactions, by those in charge actually create tension and uneasiness that leads to conflict. Adept leaders regularly assess their own performance to ensure they aren’t adding to the very issues they try to prevent.

In a 2003 study of group dynamics and conflict, researchers identified five core beliefs that seem to move individuals toward conflict with each other. As leaders, we need to be on the lookout for these and do our best to address them before things get out of hand.

The first of these beliefs is Superiority. This is the feeling that I or my group is in some way superior to another individual or group. This belief can foster a sense of entitlement or protected status that puts people at odds. Managers who treat certain groups or individuals differently than others – giving them special privileges or ignoring sub-standard performance – cultivate this belief.

The second conflict-promoting belief is Injustice. This s the feeling that I have mistreated or slighted in some way. The pursuit of justice or even revenge can lead to escalating levels of conflict. Managers create a sense of injustice by adopting policies or practices that seem unfair, self-serving, or unequally applied.

A third belief to be aware of is Vulnerability. Here, an individual or group feels they have little control over important aspects of their work. A feeling of vulnerability can cause someone to act defensively or even aggressively if they feel a core part of their identity is being threatened. Managers make people feel vulnerable when they withhold resources and information necessary to do their best work and when they turn a deaf ear to reasonable requests.

Distrust is another belief that leads to conflict. Often due to being let down in some fashion, individuals who develop a feeling of distrust for others are less likely to collaborate. Teams who distrust others, or the organization, often isolate themselves and develop subcultures that eventually come into conflict with others. Managers sow distrust by failing to follow through on commitments, communicating dishonestly, and generally acting in ways contrary to their stated values.

Finally, Helplessness can lead to conflict. Helplessness is the belief that nothing you do matters in the big scheme of things. No matter how carefully you plan and act, the odds are stacked so heavily against you that success is impossible. Managers create a feeling of helplessness by setting unrealistic goals and regularly focusing on the negative without recognition of positive performance.

Keep in mind that these are core beliefs held by an individual or team. It doesn’t matter whether or not an actual injustice has occurred. All that matters is the perception that it has taken place exists. It’s become part of the affected person’s worldview. It is this belief that lays the foundation for conflict to occur. Perception is reality and, without something to counteract them, these beliefs can fester and grow until conflict erupts.

Anyone who thinks being in charge is easy doesn’t know what they’re talking about. Being a leader – a true leader – requires a great deal of focus, energy, and sacrifice. It starts by examining your own actions and taking the steps necessary to create an environment where people feel valued and engaged. Conflict is inevitable, but our participation in it is not.


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Why Leaders Address Conflict Head-On

leader-e1471893072992If there’s one aspect of the job that managers do their best to avoid, its conflict. Ideally, things would always run smoothly in the workplace. Each person would do their job, goals would be aligned, and differences would magically work themselves out. Unfortunately, that’s just not the case. In fact, one study found that the some managers spend up to a quarter of their time working to resolve conflict. That’s a lot of time devoted to an activity that’s simply not a lot of fun. Because conflict resolution is so mentally and emotionally draining, a lot of managers choose to ignore it. They simply look the other way.

It is a lot easier to pretend conflict doesn’t exist. I know several managers who are really good at it. They ignore the fact that key employees aren’t performing. They use deflection to convince others (and themselves) that the team’s poor performance isn’t really theirs to address. They talk a good game, but, like the Emperor parading around without clothes, there’s nothing of substance to see. They’ve mastered the art of conflict avoidance. But according to executive coaching firm Assiem, there are significant repercussions to ignoring conflict.

Ignoring conflict damages morale. Employees who perceive they are being treated differently aren’t happy campers. If you hold some accountable, but not others, moral suffers. If one manager does the right thing, but another doesn’t, morale suffers. It doesn’t matter what you say. It’s what you do that communicates. Ignoring conflict fuels the fire of employee dissention.

Ignoring conflict kills productivity. Top performers thrive in an environment where the leader addresses conflict. When others are allowed to get away with poor performance or bad behavior, those top performers see the disparity and lower their level of effort. Just as a chain is only as strong as its weakest link, your team will only rise to the level its lowest performer.

Ignoring conflict lowers customer service. Employees who feel supported and valued will support and value the customer. Those who feel abandoned will do the bare minimum and leave their customer feeling abandoned as well. It’s not uncommon for disgruntled employees to share their frustration with customers they trust. This leaks the issue outside the team, impacting the company’s reputation immeasurably. Even worse is when a customer witnesses first-hand a leader who fails to address an issue unfolding in front of them.

Ignoring conflict hurts retention. Left unaddressed, workplace conflict will drive some employees to leave. Usually, they are your best ones. They won’t announce their intention. They’ll just make up their minds that leadership has failed and look for another team – a better team – to join. One day, you’ll look up and they’ll be gone, leaving you with the low performers you’ve decided to tolerate.

Ignoring conflict impacts your credibility. Your employees talk about you. You know that, right? As the boss, you are in the spotlight. You are a constant subject of conversation amongst your team members, and your credibility rises and falls with each story they share. You can’t stop it, but you can determine the types of conversations they have. Are they sharing their pride in working for a manager who addresses issues, or are they discussing your latest failure to lead?[Tweet “Leaders acknowledge conflict and address it head-on. Ordinary managers don’t.”]

Conflict resolution is not fun, but it is a necessary and critical part of the manager’s job. It’s a key part of what turns a manager into a leader. Leaders acknowledge conflict and address it head-on. Ordinary managers don’t. Odds are, there’s a conflict brewing on your team right now. Name it, tackle it, and watch all of the negatives listed above turn into positives. Watch morale improve, productivity increase, service rise, retention woes reverse, and credibility grow. Choose the path less traveled. Choose to lead.


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